Tuesday, April 30, 2013

This Review of BLMD



This review is from: Boys Lie Men Don't: Conversations and Thoughts on Relationships (Paperback) By Kiner (New Kensington, PA) - 4 1/2 stars.

I must admit I wasn't sure where this book was going, and I wasn't quite sure how all the chapters related, but once... I got the hang of the writing flow of Dr. Daniyel's, I loved this book.

What I enjoyed is the fact that there were several people's lives he acknowledged and eventually they each connected in some way. I have to say using 'Sex as a Weapon' was very 'deeply involved' and I didn't like it at first, but once I got to know the terminology, it grew on me.

I felt Dr. Daniyel demonstrated the underworld of both gender thinking with clarity and sincerity and told pretty well. There were some strong points in this book, one being, Failing at Relationships, a man's view. And the chapter of abusive relationships was informative and life helping.

As you 'loving the right person' or 'dating a cheater,' what men really think will never quite be the same. I loved how the 'conversations and thoughts' all came together and the ending was heartfelt. There is one part near the end I felt so many truths it made me look at myself. When a writer can bring out your own personal emotions in words, that's some damn great writing. I was pleasantly surprised with this one, and look forward to read more from this author. I think you will enjoy this short read. It's straight to the point...no chaser! - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0615735460/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_alp_Lww9qb1HTPNYB


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Monday, April 15, 2013

The Conflict in Relationships...

Conflict is a part of life. It exists as a reality of any relationship, and is not necessarily bad. In fact a relationship with no apparent conflict may be unhealthier than one with frequent conflict. Conflicts are critical events that can weaken or strengthen a relationship. Conflicts can be productive, creating deeper understanding, closeness and respect, or they can be destructive, causing resentment, hostility and divorce. How the conflicts get resolved, not how many occur, is the critical factor in determining whether a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy, mutually satisfying or unsatisfying, friendly or unfriendly, deep or shallow, intimate or cold. Conflicts run all the way from minor unimportant differences to critical fights. There are conflicts of needs, wants, preferences, interests, opinions, beliefs and values.

The Conflict Resolution start with the right frame of mind. Approach the conflict as two equals working together to solve a problem. Don’t be so caught-up with your immediate want that you lose sight of and forget your more important want of having a long, healthy relationship. If you are too angry or hurt to be able to control your feelings and remain respectful let yourself calm down before dealing with the issue.

Handling a conflict with a loved one, or someone you want to have a good, long-term relationship with is different than negotiating with someone who doesn’t care about your needs, such as a used-car salesman. With a loved one you have to be concerned with his/her best interests. You both should be open, honest and remain respectful, not deceptive, manipulative or disrespectful. Mutual trust is a necessary core issue in a healthy, long-term relationship and neither partner should do anything to weaken it.

Having a negative, distrustful attitude is detrimental to this process: believing you must win the argument or otherwise lose face is a bad attitude; feeling superior or being hard nosed and feeling inferior or being a soft touch are also harmful approaches
.

Want to know more?


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"Spice" After The Relationship Begin!

Around New Year's time a few months back, I got asked about "spice" after relationships begin and what advice I can give to help couples stay focused, work through issues, and avoid letting their relationship turn "sour." My advice is actually Over-standing that the way of life you've known before the relationship doesn't suddenly end when "I" and "You" become "We." In fact, an entirely new life begins and "we" should focus on experiencing life together and building bridges that connect the separate lives we had not letting them cross over into who "we" are now. Each situation and/or experience is unique and finding someone who shares your "moving forward" values makes it all worth it!

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