Thursday, June 20, 2013

Guy's first impressions are girl's worst enemy!

So, you have the worst luck with guys.  Your past boyfriends have been complete jerks.  Your family and friends may say "you just have to wait" but you beg to differ!  You don't want to be single forever. Well, allow me to help with your confusion and break the monotony.
Let's take shopping for the perfect date dress at the department store you love.  When you check out your options most time they narrow down to two: super conservative or slutty, more likely neither of which appeal to you.  However, no matter how many racks you go through there don't seem to be a middle ground.  Well, figuring since you out and about, why not give a few a try. To your surprise you find a "conservative" black and white dress may prove worth your effort. On your body, with the right pair of shoes, the "conservative" dress transformed itself into exactly what you were looking for...classy, sexy, and flirty.
Well, it seems the male world is separated into two distinct and frustrating options... Nerd and Jerk!  But the uplifting news is that if dresses aren't that simple, people certainly aren't, no matter how they appear.
Before you bust open these stereotypes, I want to validate your frustration.  It's no bad luck that makes the so-called Hot Guys players, unsuitable and jerk boyfriends. Obviously there are exceptions (Me!) but there is a pattern to acknowledge.  Most so-called hot guys have an easy time with the ladies.  Girls flirt with THEM so they haven't need to learn to pursue and EARN the woman's affection.  If you don’t have to risk your heart to gain a girl’s attention then why bother being sensitive, vulnerable, kind, gentlemanly, considerate etc.? It’s hard work and kind of scary. This attitude toward relationships will make the so-called "hottie” cocky, lazy, and inconsiderate! Thus, a jerk!

Also, it's no coincidence that the so-called nerds have a reputation for being good boyfriends. The geekiest of nerds are usually terrified to talk to girls. Girls don’t give them a lot of attention so they are completely in the dark as to how to approach and relate to one. This is why this type of guy can come across as awkward and unattractive. But when given a chance, these boys are eager to win your affection and can be great boyfriends when you give direction and show them how.

While there is reason to separate men into two categories, I don't advise it. As long as you see them that way, you will continue to experience them that way.

Here's the deal, when it comes to women, your attraction for men does not lie in the looks department. Right? Of course, initially looks and confidence or lack thereof is the only information you get about someone new. However if you base all your decisions on your initial experience of a guy then you will only feel attracted to hot and confident men and you will feel like you are sacrificing something by going for the nerdy awkward men. But your true attraction doesn’t lie in these fleeting impressions. It lies in how a man behaves with you over time: how he listens, how he makes you laugh, how talented, capable, charming, thoughtful and considerate he is.

If you stay open-minded with the guys you “try on” and give them the chance to show you their good qualities, you may see them in a new, more attractive light. Just as a dress may look a certain way on the hanger and a different way once you put it on, a man can appear to be one thing and transform completely in the arms of the girl he loves. So give these guys a chance: “jerk” and “nerd” alike.

And don’t you dare settle for less than a caring guy who treats you right!
Daniyel S. Willis

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