MisPerception...

 

Each of us has the blessed gift of freedom to do as we wish. We must embrace this, while still maintaining the value of respecting and loving others choices as well. 

Live life by your terms. Everyone is meant to give life their own meaning. It does not mean one meaning is better than the other.

Please consider getting your copy Boys Lie Men Don't - Conversations and Thoughts on Relationships to read more of how men and women mis-perceive one another compared to the way things really are.

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Truths About Men and Women...

Are men really as obsessed with sex as women been led to believe? Do women like to make the first move under the sheets? Societal labeling says one thing, but what’s the real truth when it comes to men and women? 

With more than 23 years in private practice as a relationship coach helping clients overcome all kinds of personal obstacles and challenges, my clients have confided all sorts of deep dark secrets about their wants and desires. The biggest lesson I've learned: don’t buy into how men and women have been pigeon-holed into certain roles. In fact, much of what you've been led to believe about the opposite sex is the polar opposite of reality.

Some examples of what I will be elaborating on in the near future:

Men:

- Many men have said they don’t like to have sex every day, or as often as men have been portrayed as wanting to have sex.

- Men aren’t the cold-tough guys they appear to be. There is an emotional disconnect from their relationship when their spouse doesn’t compliment or praise them enough, thus less intimacy from the man.

- Many men have admitted they are not intimidated their spouse earns more money than they do. Men are not interested in their spouse's physical accomplishments.

- Men have secretly admitted that they like when their spouse decorates the house and even makes it more feminine, especially nowadays.  Men yearn for Miss Independant to come back to the feminine side - romance, communication, and providing extra support of him.

Women:

- Many women say they find it hot when their guy is not so stubborn and ask for help, ask for directions, and determination to accomplish something.  Though they may react frustrated, know it’s really a turn on because it shows confidence.

- Many women say they secretly like it when their men do the laundry or clean the house, even if they do a lousy job and mess everything up. It shows initiative.

- Many women have said that they find it sexy when they can make the first move and initiate sex, but are frustrated when they always want to be the dominating force.

- On the topic of weight: Many women said they want their men to be honest about how an outfit makes them look, even if he thinks it’s not flattering or makes her look big. They believe honesty says a lot about the man they are with.

Please consider getting your copy Boys Lie Men Don't - Conversations and Thoughts on Relationships to read more of how men and women mis-perceived one another compared to the way things really are. 

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Sex Without Love...

Anybody remember George Michael’s 1987 hit song? The one that proclaimed: Sex is natural; sex is good; sex is best when it's one-on-one? Hmmm, but what happens when that one-on-one time gets stale, redundant and is nothing but going through the motions? Or worse, what if there is no intimacy at all in a relationship?

Sexless relationships aren’t just a made up story, but something that is more common than most couples will admit. However, the good news is as long as there are no medical issues to blame, there are plenty of natural techniques couples can try to heat things up again.

My  tips:

1. Write a letter to your partner: In the age of email and social media, we’ve lost the ability to connect on an emotional level. Get some really nice stationary and a pen, and in your best handwriting, in ink of your partner’s favorite color, tell him how much he means to you, how you can’t imagine your life without him and the qualities you find sexy about him.


2.Don’t just focus on sex: In most cases, there is a loss of an emotional connection between the couple. Before sex can take priority again, this connection must be remade. Engage in other activities that allow you precious time with your partner and strengthen emotional bonds. The tighter the emotional bonds the better sex will be. I hear couples say their best sex was in the beginning of their relationship, but that’s because there was likely a better emotional connection early on that has faded a bit with time and daily pressures of finances, kids and finding time for everything.


3. Reduce stress through touch: Have your partner lie down on his or her stomach with no clothes on. Start from the head and work your way down to his feet. Using a combination of gentle and firm movements, slowly cover every part of the body. At the same time, ask your partner to close his eyes, and whisper both positive and sexy thoughts into his ear. When the body is relaxed, brain wave levels are lowered and the mind is able to connect more effectively with the person in front of him. A relaxed body allows for better blood flow to the extremities which can lead to a stronger erection for men and increased sensations for women.


4. Spice it up: If your love making activities take all of five minutes and are limited to the bedroom, spice it up. See love making as an experience to share with your partner, not something to rush through. Find other places in the house to have sex, do it in the car or backyard, role play, experiment with sex toys and new positions. Basically, just make it fun and exciting. 


5. Be honest: Often times a couple will engage less frequently in sex because one of the partners doesn’t like something, but is afraid to speak up. Engaging in a sexual relationship should come with open lines of communication. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don’t like.

Inspired by the chapter, Long Lasting Relationships, in my book, BLMD – Conversations And Thoughts On Relationships. Save 5% Instantly thru Amazon Today! Use this link to get the discount. It will appear at check out.

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United We Stand...

DIFFERENT has become a bad word.  We make funny assumptions about differences, like somehow the very concept demands an inequality. One MUST be better, smarter, stronger, cooler than the other.

This is just not the case.

Men and women are fundamentally different. From our brains to our hormones to our basic love needs to our communication styles, we are different. Let’s celebrate that!

When you learn how to accept, honor, and find compassion for your differences, you create more peace, equality, mutual respect, and profound love in all your relationships.

It takes more than good intentions and a dream to tap into the MOST rewarding experience a human can have in a lifetime. It takes practical, realistic, clear steps of action and understanding (which I happen to be full of) and I can’t wait to share them with you!

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Secretly Men Looking For In Women...

Ladies, over-stand that your Beauty and Value are NOT defined by how you look or what you own. To Real MEN your beauty and value is defined by your Substance (the real you) and your ability to RECEIVE love.

Please, stop drawing your cues from other women. That's YOU looking and desiring big butts, huge breasts, weave hairstyles, imitating lifestyles of other women and thinking that's what WE want?!  Well, its' NOT. Real MEN appreciate the small things and you do NOT need to wear a full face of makeup and all those "goodies." Period!

Real MEN take pride in his Woman! He will sacrifice EveryThing if it will put a smile on his woman's face. Consider us, our feelings, our situations, and the fact that we want to be respected EXACTLY how you want to be respected and watch our World open up to you. Understand that the way you treat others (and YOURSELF) dictates the way others treat (react to) you.

Bottomline, Real Men need to be Appreciated. Many of women tend to take their partners for granted. Women need to learn to say, "Babe, you're the best at this, or look at you! Look how you mowed my lawn! You're the best lawn mower in the state!" Sounds extreme? Well, he isn't no more interested in what kind of heels you're wearing - if he likes you in heels at all.

Why? Men think, Women feel.  Men speak headlines and Women speak in fine print. Women should learn to read the headlines and NOT press for details.  Like stop being pushy for the details to his answer when you ask a question.  It's okay to ask your man, "What do you think about that?" He might say, "It's fine." But don't get pushy if you're expecting more of an answer, because they're might not be one.

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Quote Of The Day!

Boys Lie Men Don't Quote Of The Day!

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Join BoysLieMenDont on FaceBook and "Like" us. Still having difficulty getting through to your special someone? Check out BoysLieMenDont Communication is the Key, the last chapter on relationships in BLMD - Conversations and Thoughts on Relationships.

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WE ALL NEED TO MATTER (TO OURSELVES) FIRST!

Quite often I speak with people who have a very hard time putting themselves first. Not only putting themselves first, but putting themselves anywhere other than last, of mattering at all to themselves.

They feel a need or compulsion, or perhaps have developed a habit of caring for others, of giving until they literally have nothing left. They consistently put themselves last. There is a difference between helping the responsible and knowing when you are being used. It's only by saying "no" that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. 

Some of the most rewarding experiences I have in speaking with people is when they learn that they too are freely given respect, kindness, friendship and love; never chased love and approval from others and most importantly love from themselves, towards themselves.

"Don't forget that YOU matter. When you say "yes" to others make sure you are NOT saying "no" to yourself!" 

You matter, you really and truly do. Putting yourself first and or at least in the equation, doesn't make you a bad person or any less of a giver or a kind soul. It simply means you are learning to be a kind soul to your own soul, to your own self.

So put yourself first sometimes, make a new habit of it even and you'll thank yourself later.

SAY YES TO YOU AND YOUR NEEDS, SHOW YOURSELF THAT YOU MATTER (you really do).

It will affect all areas of your life when you do so for you will no longer be willing to be anyone's doormat and you will not accept anything less than good things for: YOU.

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